Saying no does not make you a bad person!

Do you continually find yourself in situations that you really should have avoided but felt compelled to say yes? Then you are just like me! So many of us are always afraid of saying no because we feel some kind of obligation to always want to please others even if that means that it will be to our detriment. We always want to be available and sometimes it does not always turn out for the best. While there are many reasons why saying no does not make you a bad person, I’ve selected the following three instances as reasons why sometimes it is good to say no:

  1. You’re spreading yourself thin – if you already have a busy schedule, saying yes when you should be saying no would cause for you to spread yourself thin and ultimately every aspect in your life will suffer including this task that you felt obligated to take on! In a work environment, this can be very serious and may even cause for your leadership team to view you in a negative light. In a personal setting, you risk to create tension between you and your loved ones if said task is not completed to the level expected.
  2. You are in over your head – whether professional or personal, you should never take on a task that you know that you are clearly not qualified to complete. There could be so many repercussions and professionally this can even lead to negative reviews and in some cases, your termination. Be true to yourself and know your limits, no one has the answer to everything and can do all things; so if you are really interested in helping, maybe you can volunteer to help find someone best suited to complete the task and offer your assistance to that person.
  3. You are taking time out of your personal time – yes, you read it right! Everyone deserves to have some type out of the week (preferably out of the day) slated just for you. Whether you decide to rest and catch on your sleep, or simply indulge in your favorite activity such as cooking, reading, or Netflix binge watching: it’s your time! Depriving yourself of this special time is cutting out some relaxation time for your mind and body to reset. While others may not understand it, don’t allow yourself to be guilted into doing something when you already had planned to spend that time on you.

No matter the reason, most of the time when we say no, it is not out of contempt. There is usually a reason and you are not obligated to state your reason, as that usually gives the other person an opening to try to convince you and thus make the situation increasingly uncomfortable. Keep in mind that you reserve the right to decline to participate in any activity/event at any time, provided it is an option. Life is about choices, and you should not let others make you feel bad for exercising that right. While it is your right to decline, be sure that you are doing so in a polite and respectful manner because ultimately, it is usually the delivery of your response that earns you the negative labels.

Cheers,

Reese

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