Saying no does not make you a bad person!

Do you continually find yourself in situations that you really should have avoided but felt compelled to say yes? Then you are just like me! So many of us are always afraid of saying no because we feel some kind of obligation to always want to please others even if that means that it will be to our detriment. We always want to be available and sometimes it does not always turn out for the best. While there are many reasons why saying no does not make you a bad person, I’ve selected the following three instances as reasons why sometimes it is good to say no:

  1. You’re spreading yourself thin – if you already have a busy schedule, saying yes when you should be saying no would cause for you to spread yourself thin and ultimately every aspect in your life will suffer including this task that you felt obligated to take on! In a work environment, this can be very serious and may even cause for your leadership team to view you in a negative light. In a personal setting, you risk to create tension between you and your loved ones if said task is not completed to the level expected.
  2. You are in over your head – whether professional or personal, you should never take on a task that you know that you are clearly not qualified to complete. There could be so many repercussions and professionally this can even lead to negative reviews and in some cases, your termination. Be true to yourself and know your limits, no one has the answer to everything and can do all things; so if you are really interested in helping, maybe you can volunteer to help find someone best suited to complete the task and offer your assistance to that person.
  3. You are taking time out of your personal time – yes, you read it right! Everyone deserves to have some type out of the week (preferably out of the day) slated just for you. Whether you decide to rest and catch on your sleep, or simply indulge in your favorite activity such as cooking, reading, or Netflix binge watching: it’s your time! Depriving yourself of this special time is cutting out some relaxation time for your mind and body to reset. While others may not understand it, don’t allow yourself to be guilted into doing something when you already had planned to spend that time on you.

No matter the reason, most of the time when we say no, it is not out of contempt. There is usually a reason and you are not obligated to state your reason, as that usually gives the other person an opening to try to convince you and thus make the situation increasingly uncomfortable. Keep in mind that you reserve the right to decline to participate in any activity/event at any time, provided it is an option. Life is about choices, and you should not let others make you feel bad for exercising that right. While it is your right to decline, be sure that you are doing so in a polite and respectful manner because ultimately, it is usually the delivery of your response that earns you the negative labels.




Scheduling your time

It is easy to say you will keep a schedule, however, I’ve come to realize that action a lot of time does not follow that intention. For many of us, it is not due to a lack of interest but rather due to busyness! When you are running around and trying to keep up with your daily agenda, it usually slips out of your mind to write your schedule down, and by the end of the year, those planners are still empty.

I used to invest in planners every year! I’m a girly girl and would take my time to select my planners: retro style, beaches, flowers, you name it, I’ve probably had it! However, by the end of the year, I would look back and realize that more than half of the pages were still empty and that I would have been better off using that money otherwise. I was left with an out of date empty planner and still in need of a better way to organize my time. Since I became increasingly more reliant on my smartphone, I figured I’d put the apps in there to good use. It’s simple to say to use your phone as your planner but you must also know which app to use and when.  So these are the ones I used and how:

Calendar App  – This is my to go app where I schedule reoccurring events such as appointments, meals (yes if you tend to forget about eating when you’re busy like I do, you NEED to!), and major life events such as birthdays, anniversaries etc… Most phone calendars should be able to sync with your email calendars, so be sure to sync all calendars regularly so that you don’t miss an important event. The calendar app will give you the option of setting reminders which I strongly encourage. In addition to reminders, you are able to set a start and end date for these appointments on your calendar, invite others via email, include an address and notes related to the event.

Reminder App –  This app I use for quick reminders that are not part of your regular schedule such as a quick run to the post office, running a quick errand during lunch time… Anything that usually becomes part of your schedule at the last minute. These are always the ones that we forget about! The new iOS softwares come with this app built in and it allows you to set the priority level, an alarm, and even set a location where it can remind you of the task.

Shopping List – There are various apps out there available to help you make a quick shopping list for the house. They are user friendly and typically include preloaded items which makes the job much quicker for you. As you go through your day, it is a quick way to add anything to your list.

Remember, technology is always evolving, be sure to put it to good use and let it make your life a little easier. I hope these quick tips will help you manage your schedule a little easier. Feel free to leave some tips that you use in the comment section below.